Q. How do you know who’s a creep and who isn’t online?

A. If I could give you a one-size-fits-all answer, I’d be the next grand Lotto winner. Here are some general guidelines:

Pay attention to the kinds of questions they ask you, and what their answers are to your questions — and what personal questions they seem to ignore. For example, if you posted an ad online for a date, are they only after your picture or sex talk? Do they seem to be hiding something? Are they only available for emailing, instant messaging, or phone calls during the day? Have they given you their phone contact information or not? If they seem hard to pin down, they may be in a relationship; it generally seems that guys who are not available in the evenings or on weekends, have something else going.

It’s easy to hide online; ask questions. Are they single, available? Are those real pictures they’re sending? If they seem too good to be true, then they probably are. But - you never know. Don't invest emotionally right away; give yourself time and distance to assess every conversation at first. Read the tone of their emails or chats; pay attention to their respect for you, their interest in you, and if they seem to be a conqueror or someone genuinely interested in relationship, rather than a drive-by.

It takes time to get to know someone, even online. Be yourself; don't be afraid to voice your real opinions and feelings. There are always more possibilities than you realize. If you don't like this one, then keep moving. Finding good guys is often a numbers game.

When that first date arrives in person, be sure you meet in a public place and you have told a friend where you are going to be.

Beth Witrogen (www.witrogen.com), a double Pulitzer Prize nominated writer, was most recently recognized for her book, “Caregiving: The Spiritual Journey of Love, Loss, and Renewal,” a uniquely inspired blend of advice based on personal growth and spiritually profound wisdom. A former newspaper journalist, she has written for magazines including Good Housekeeping, Self, and Family Circle and online sites such as WebMD, Consumer Health Interactive, and ThirdAge.com. She is currently at work on a book about women's renewal and sexuality at midlife. Ms. Witrogen resides in Northern California, and pursues her other passion as a professional photographer (www.witrogenphoto.com) and rock climbing. Send your questions to beth@smartnow.com.