Well, here we are. Starting something new. Beginning again with something that we want to believe will make our lives better. Hoping against hope that it will make our lives better. Afraid that it won’t. Anxious for things to be better. Worried that this is as good as it gets. Angry that this just isn’t good enough. Wanting more. Not knowing how to get it. And so we go back and forth, endlessly debating whether or not to start something new.

And so we give up on our goals and our desires. Oh, it doesn’t happen all at once, this giving up. After 40, it creeps up on you. It’s a slow and relentless wearing down of our motivation until everything seems too hard to do. What was so easy to accomplish at 20 or at 30 seems practically impossible to accomplish after 40.

So we sit. I know that we’ve all been faced with a failure in our past that discourages us from taking any new steps in our present. But the problem is that if we fail to take that new step today, we rob ourselves of a better and brighter future. (And believe me; we’ve still got plenty of future still ahead of us!)

Ahhh … but what if you try and you still fail? Therein lies the rub. Sometimes we’ve become so discouraged that we simply are not willing to continue trying. We don’t want to start over, or start fresh or review our commitment to anything anymore simply because we’re so tired of not succeeding at our previous goals.

But perhaps this time will be different. Perhaps not. What is a sure thing is that if you don’t try, you won’t get whatever “it” is. If you do try, there is at least a possibility of success. I like that.

So, what do you want? For the rest of the month, I want you to begin to write down everything that you want in any given area of your life. What do you want socially, financially, emotionally, and physically? Then I want you to write down one thing, just one thing, that will bring you closer to your goals.

Remember that “the one thing” is an action, a behavior, a task. For example, rather than say, “I want to be happier,” your goal might look more like “I want to get together with my girlfriends once a week for the next month.” (Which will make you happier, yes?) That is specific and measurable and do-able. “I want to be happier” is simply too vague, and you’ll be left with nothing to do to further yourself toward this goal. So be specific.

I know that starting fresh or starting over and getting back on track can be scary. It’s easier to remain standing still and do nothing. Leaving things as they are. I know what it feels like to fall off the motivation wagon. But I want you to consider trying again. Just one more time. Let’s see if we can all help each other and support each other and maybe this time will be different. I believe we can do it, every single one of us. I look forward to seeing you next month and celebrating our successes. In the meantime, share your stories and support each other on the Comments area on this page. Be well.

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

Goethe

Angela Mohan, licensed M.F.T., has been a practicing therapist for the past 14 years. She has built successful private practices in Los Angeles and Ventura counties, and teaches law and ethics at Pacifica Graduate Institute. Ms. Mohan, often described as a "fun," "enthusiastic," and "lively" speaker, offers seminars at USC, UCLA, Cal State-Los Angeles and Cal State-Long Beach. Ms. Mohan is a published author and served on the Board of Directors for the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Angela enjoys traveling, reading, and watching movies. Send your questions to Angela@smartnow.com.